January 8, 2009

Tiptoe Tiptoe

Ever since the beginning of this wedding planning process I've tiptoed around the whole idea of marriage. While reading through potential ceremonies I'd change pronouns and omit whole sections that make too much mention of the specific nature of marriage. All to avoid offending those who may feel that our wedding will not produce a valid marriage. I've even go so far as avoiding the term wedding all together on the invitation mock-up and wedding website.

A dear friend's mom calls it 'the joining' because she doesn't think the word wedding fits. While that's somehow sweet, and a better response than I expected from her, it's so so much more than a joining. We're joined already. We live together, pay bills together, do laundry together. Every facet of our lives intertwine.

Well I'm done tiptoeing. We're getting married, dammit. So we can't file joint taxes and need all sorts of documentation to make sure we're protected as a couple, so what? I can show you plenty of "legitimate" marriages that are anything but. Marriage means that we are bound to each other by love. That we intend to spend the rest of our lives serving each other through better and worse, sicker and poorer etc. How dare you tell me that's no marriage. If you don't like it, if you don't think it's real, if you don't support our union then don't come.

No comments: