January 16, 2009

Fake Wedding

Back before D and I were even engaged I was stressed about who would perform the ceremony. Since becoming engaged I've spoken more to my childhood priest and he has recommended a Unitarian Universalist minister who would be willing and able to perform the ceremony. We expect to meet with her sometime next month to see if we hit it off and then look into doing our premarital counseling with her. I still want to stamp my feet and shout that it's just not the same. But I'm reaching the point where I'll take what I can get. I find myself so jealous of straight couples who have the support of the government as well as any church they may favor. No one questions the legitimacy of their marriage or has the audacity to call it a 'fake wedding' (thanks, sis). It all makes me so sad. In the face of the thrill of my new forever life with D and all the exciting support from friends and the sheer enjoyment I get from planning, I'm still sad.

When Father H. wrote to me about the U. U. minister he closed with the following paragraph, it broke my heart:

All other arrangements for the ceremony of union need to be worked out without my involvement owing to the position the Diocese of Texas has taken. It breaks my heart to say so, but that includes the use of the St. G's Church building itself if you were thinking at all of having the service here. As with clergy, so with the church building, the Diocese has taken a very clear position that we cannot participate in a same-gender union. That does not extend to my being present at the ceremony in November, and I hope you will think of inviting me and your friends at St. G's to be present, support you with our love, and wish you all the joy and happiness in the world.

No comments: