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Mary posted about our portrait session on her blog. More pictures!

Engagement Pictures

On Sunday, Diana and I went out to Camp Ben (where the wedding will be) with the amazing Mary Sledd and took engagement portraits. We had a ton of fun and came out with some really beautiful pictures. I don't want to be one of those crazy couples with pictures of ourselves all over our house...but I'm not sure I can resist the vanity. Maybe a nice album will have to suffice.

Acorns and Flowers

I've started playing around with the buttons and felt. They were cute, but somehow too cartoon-ey. I kept trying to imagine my father with a felt/button boutonniere and I just couldn't see it. I was on the verge of giving up when I came across a fabric sample book of wonderful material. One of the parents at the school where I work is an interior designer and she donated a ton of fabric sample books (the kids love exploring the colors and textures and most of the books have handles so they make great 'purses'). There's not a word of English on the sample books so I don't know exactly what the material is, but it feels like really thin wool felt. The material is in really great fall/winter tones of warm reds all the way to a dark charcoal grey. I started working with it last night and created my first full boutonniere. I like that the material is thinner so a little easier to work with and layer and the colors are so amazing. I'm finally happy with what I'm coming up with. I'm afraid I don't have enough material, or enough colors to make pieces for everyone so I'll need to do a bit of fabric searching, but at least now I feel like I'm on the right track.

Busy Busy

This morning we had a meeting with Steve Kriechbaum who is an incredibly talented jeweler in Austin who also happens to go to church with my parents. He will be using the diamonds from my grandmother's engagement and wedding ring to make our wedding rings. I'll have an engagement and wedding band and D will have a wedding band. I'm so excited that we'll both have rings that came from my grandmother's set. I also love that we're able to use a talented local artist while receiving the "I sing in the choir with your mother and think you're dad is a cool guy" price consideration. He was really open to our ideas so I know we'll be thrilled with the results. Now we wait.

This afternoon the amazing and talented Mary Sledd will be taking our engagement portraits. Should be fun! Even though I'm probably one of the least photogenic people on the planet.

**Edit: engagement portraits were postponed. Mrs. Sledd had something come up. Fortunately, however, since D and I were in the process of establishing that we had nothing to wear when she called.

Button Jars

I've been toying with the idea of making button and felt boutonnieres and corsages for the wedding instead of live flowers. I went and found felt last night then sat down to 'organize' my buttons. I have jars full of buttons that I inherited from my mother (I actually remember playing with them as a child). I separated out ones that I wanted to use and hope to start building flowers this weekend. I figure I have quite a while to make them or to decide it doesn't work. I'll keep you posted.

Fake Wedding

Back before D and I were even engaged I was stressed about who would perform the ceremony. Since becoming engaged I've spoken more to my childhood priest and he has recommended a Unitarian Universalist minister who would be willing and able to perform the ceremony. We expect to meet with her sometime next month to see if we hit it off and then look into doing our premarital counseling with her. I still want to stamp my feet and shout that it's just not the same. But I'm reaching the point where I'll take what I can get. I find myself so jealous of straight couples who have the support of the government as well as any church they may favor. No one questions the legitimacy of their marriage or has the audacity to call it a 'fake wedding' (thanks, sis). It all makes me so sad. In the face of the thrill of my new forever life with D and all the exciting support from friends and the sheer enjoyment I get from planning, I'm still sad.

When Father H. wrote to me about the U. U. minister he closed with the following paragraph, it broke my heart:

All other arrangements for the ceremony of union need to be worked out without my involvement owing to the position the Diocese of Texas has taken. It breaks my heart to say so, but that includes the use of the St. G's Church building itself if you were thinking at all of having the service here. As with clergy, so with the church building, the Diocese has taken a very clear position that we cannot participate in a same-gender union. That does not extend to my being present at the ceremony in November, and I hope you will think of inviting me and your friends at St. G's to be present, support you with our love, and wish you all the joy and happiness in the world.

Tiptoe Tiptoe

Ever since the beginning of this wedding planning process I've tiptoed around the whole idea of marriage. While reading through potential ceremonies I'd change pronouns and omit whole sections that make too much mention of the specific nature of marriage. All to avoid offending those who may feel that our wedding will not produce a valid marriage. I've even go so far as avoiding the term wedding all together on the invitation mock-up and wedding website.

A dear friend's mom calls it 'the joining' because she doesn't think the word wedding fits. While that's somehow sweet, and a better response than I expected from her, it's so so much more than a joining. We're joined already. We live together, pay bills together, do laundry together. Every facet of our lives intertwine.

Well I'm done tiptoeing. We're getting married, dammit. So we can't file joint taxes and need all sorts of documentation to make sure we're protected as a couple, so what? I can show you plenty of "legitimate" marriages that are anything but. Marriage means that we are bound to each other by love. That we intend to spend the rest of our lives serving each other through better and worse, sicker and poorer etc. How dare you tell me that's no marriage. If you don't like it, if you don't think it's real, if you don't support our union then don't come.

Winter Break

We spent our winter break completely immersed in wedding planning. Now that I'm back at work I have to focus on staging a big fundraiser and opening a new classroom. No time to spend at work gazing at wedding garb.

During the break we managed to book our venue and photographer and have signed the appropriate contracts and put down the appropriate deposits. Mrs. Mary Sledd Owens will be my photographer extraordinaire. She's been my best friend since we were 12 and there was never any question about who would be photographing our big day. I'm just thrilled she wasn't already booked. She's a busy busy lady. We've also decided to go with Camp Ben McCulloch. We've been out there 3 times in the last month just to make sure it's *the* place and especially for the price it just can't be beat. I'm thrilled! We've made a tentative decision on food and booze and have nailed down the time of day. And I've picked out a dress. Now we're left with the biggest and in my opinion the most important part of the day - the ceremony. We have some ideas, but haven't solidified anything yet. Finding an officiate will help with that part I'm sure.

Oh! And with booking the venue comes the final date: 11/7/09. Be there or be square!

With all the ideas and pictures I've been collecting over the last two months, I finally created an inspiration board. Enjoy...



Now if only we could convince a few certain family members that we're not doing this to spite them. That we really do love each other and intend to spend the rest of our lives together. And while we'll be thrilled if they decide to join us on our big day, if they don't, it will still happen and it will still be just as meaningful.