May 15, 2008

growing up

So I've always had this theory that when people grew up it just happened. You'd be living your life then suddenly blink and be an adult. I was wrong. I find myself in the most bizarre position of having to grow up. I've been in the same profession for years. 11 to be exact and I've certainly put in my time and worked my way up through the ranks. Last month I unexpectedly had the next big professional step fall into my lap. And now I'm questioning everything. Especially when it comes to my professional image. One of the big things I've always loved about my job was that jeans/t-shirt/flip-flops were my daily uniform. I have my ear lobes stretched to a 00g and tattoos on my chest. I've always been taken seriously by those around me as I've always done more than what was required of me and therefore earned more respect and responsibility. It's still those same people looking at me every day and having to answer to me but suddenly it's all different. Do I take out my earings? Do I make it a point to cover my tattoos? Do I actively hide the fact that I'm a lesbian? I feel too young to be in this position and am therefore trying to overcompensate to prove I really am a professional. It kind of makes me want to go back to my undergrad years.

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