Giving Thanks

Thank you, from our wedding, in bullets:

• For loving us
• For being there
• For speaking up
• For supporting us
• For taking care of the details
• For taking incredible pictures
• For giving the best hugs (repeatedly)
• For that hug you said came from my dad
• For coming even though you weren't comfortable
• For expertly taking over set up and for staying to help clean
• For commenting on your 4 year old's widening view of what makes a family
• For proving to us just how big our family truly is. Thank you.

Newlyweds...again

Last Monday we drove from DC (where we stayed) to a little town in Connecticut. There were narrow streets, tall trees, red bricks with white trim and a sweet older woman in the Town Clerks office who lit up when we said we were there to apply for our marriage license. We filled out our paperwork, held up our right hands to swear all the information was true then headed to a little park nearby to be married. We found a kind, slightly kooky officiant on the internets. She'd had a computer melt-down and so led us through our vows thanks to gmail and my black.berry. It felt so different from what we experienced the Saturday before. We worked for a year for what we had last Saturday. Surrounded by our families and friends, flowers, decorations and the results of lots and lots of work. It was incredible, hectic, fun, emotional and completely unforgetable. Monday in Connecticut was just us, the Rev. and those hum-drum legalities everyone takes for granted. I'm so thankful to have had both experiences.


So now we've been married twice. Once in the eyes of our friends, family and any higher ups who may be watching then again in the eyes of the state of Connecticut. I can only hope and pray that someday it'll spread. The queers will take over and eventually our marriage will be legal everywhere, without question or exception. Until then, we'll busy ourselves with wills, power of attorney documents and name changes.

Adoption Day

I watched a family being born today.

Just after Spring Break of 2008 a giant, fussy 6 month old girl joined my infant class. She was restless, overfed and developmentally behind. Along with her foster family, we got to know her and over the next year and a half we watched her grow into a noisy, joyful and incredibly opinionated toddler. She went weekly to visit her birth mother who worked desperately to earn back her daughter. In August 2009, to everyone's surprise, birth mom and dad gave up rights to their little girl. I cried when foster-dad shared this news. Cried over all that birth mom and dad overcame and the maturity it took to acknowledge where this little girl belonged.

Today was her adoption hearing. Mom, dad and big brother beamed, cried and squirmed while little miss ran circles around the courtroom visiting laps and squealing at the attention. The room was filled with family, friends and caregivers all dabbing eyes and sniffling as the adoption lawyer talked about her forever home. After formalities, the judge brought big brother and new little sister to the bench where they banged the gavel and became a real live family.

The best part, a new middle name specially picked by big brother: Sunshine. Happy Adoption Day little miss Sunshine.

flickr: Travis County Courthouse

Sunday & Pens

Since my dad passed away, Mom has spent much of her time rearranging and recovering and buying new furniture. The first thing she sent home with us was Dad's arm chair. I don't think she could stand to see it empty. Since then she has been slowly going through the condo passing on Dad's belongings. We've come home with several computers, a few hard drives, a modem and a printer. Once we move we'll be inheriting 3 7-foot bookcases and Dad's enormous sci-fi/fantasy first edition collection that currently resides in them (which we'll most likely sell the majority of). By no means do I think she's trying to erase him...I think this is her way of grieving and removing some of the day-to-day reminders (not to mention, she doesn't need 5 computers when she won't use PC's anyway).

I'm getting used coming home with boxes of Dad's left behinds....but I wasn't prepared for Sunday. Mom finally went through the desk in Dad's Ham Shack (N5UJ). My box included things like the cardboard kaleidescope I made him when I was 9 and the brass Texas Bicentenial belt buckle he wore anytime he wore blue jeans. It also included about half of his large pen collection. He treasured his pens. He used to tell me that he wrote too hard so using a fountain pen forced him to write gently. He always had one in his front shirt pocket. Always. He went through years of trying different pens to find the one he loved. His favorite for the last few years was a vanishing tip retractable fountain pen. I have two of them now. Along with the first fountain pen I remember him buying and several my Grandmother gave him when he started collecting. Maybe it's time to start caring about what I write with just as much as I care about what I write. Maybe I need to force myself to be more gentle and more intentional with my words. Maybe I still miss him an awful lot and wish he were here to guide us through this stressful home buying experience.

Instead I'll write with his pens and hope somehow I can channel a bit of his wisdom through the bright blue ink.

flickr: Namike Vanishing Point

Nap Time

Zipper was spayed last week and we were told to keep her calm for about a week after surgery. Has anyone ever tried keeping calm a kitten who is thoroughly convinced that she is, in fact, a grown dog? She plays non-stop with our dog, Betsy, she cries at the door when Betsy goes outside and eats dog food (!?) when Betsy eats. Maybe we'll make youtube fame if she ever decides to start barking. When she does decide to sleep, however, she's awfully cute and cuddly.

picture: D napping with Zipper

June

The world has been a busy place this June. D's little-est sister graduated from high school as the valedictorian. She quoted Emerson in her speech and made us all cry. D's family had quite a graduation party for her, but my all time favorite part was sitting on their back porch. I could spend hours on that porch drinking coffee and talking to D's mom about crocheting. The view is amazing.



My birthday came and went. I feel like I've spent the last year making the transition from adult to grown up and now, at 28, I don't feel like such an impostor. We had a nice quiet dinner with friends followed by amazing chocolate goodness from Central Market. D's middle little sister showed up at my school with flowers from her and D since D couldn't get away from work. I decided a long time ago that I wanted zinnias for the wedding. And the beautiful bouquet on my desk confirmed that.



We went camping the weekend after my birthday. It was beautiful and hot. We spent the weekend alternating between hiking and sitting in very small waterfalls reading. We ate the requisite hot dogs and roasted marshmallows and enjoyed our lack of cell phone service and Netflix.



The wedding is just over 4 months away and my current project is organza and tulle flowers for mom corsages and hair decor. It was a bit of a challenge finding fall colors at the beginning of the summer, and I keep burning myself...but otherwise I absolutely love the way they're turning out. I'm finishing them with seed beads and vintage buttons. And the kitten keeps trying really hard to run off with my scraps.

We've started spending all our evenings and weekends house hunting. Houses in our price range move incredibly quickly so we keep finding that perfect house and a moment later it goes under contract. Fortunately there's a lot on the market and our Realtor, Abbe Waldman, is amazing. I can't wait to post pictures of the elusive new home...once we find it.

meet Zipper

She literally showed up on our front porch 3 Mondays ago and has since clawed, chewed, furred and licked her way into our hearts. I've been begging for a kitten for months, but we'd decided to wait until we moved. Zipper had other ideas. She is Betsy the dog's new best friend, though I think the incessant attacking and ankle chomping is wearing Betsy out. She is Spud the cat's new arch nemesis. Zipper isn't even the slightest bit scared of the Spud and chases her around the house despite being hissed at.

When Zipp isn't gnawing on our ankles or fingers or elbows her favorite place is curled up with us on the couch. I love her even if she is sharp and pointy.

piece by piece

It's been just over a month and I feel like I'm sort of coming out on the other side of much of the initial, visceral grief. The grieving process has been so new and strangely interesting to experience. Projects are my friend. The one thing I kept from my father was his massive tie collection, many of which I can remember picking out for him while growing up. In true crafty fashion I have spent hours dissecting the ties, removing the lining and ironing them flat. I'm now working on making several small quilts from the ties to give to my siblings. The hours I've spent working with my hands has been quite therapeutic....though I'm sure the bits and pieces of ties everywhere are driving D crazy.

Oh, and we're buying a house. Eeek!

Two weeks later

It's been 2 weeks since my world was turned completely upside down. I toyed with the idea of abandoning this blog completely, I'm not at all sure anyone reads; but my life hasn't stopped, just changed. All the initial craziness of flowers and casseroles and services has subsided and family has returned to their corners of the world. Now I'm left with the daily realization of life without Dad.

D has been amazing through out all of this. She sat with me on mom's couch for nine hours straight two Thursdays ago. This has been her initiation to our family. She's stuck with me now.

My thoughts on our upcoming wedding have taken on a somber tone. I can't think of that day without sadness of who won't be there. Mom is selling the Airstream, she can't travel alone so that's out. No big deal, just an absence. But the big one...who will walk me down the aisle?

Gerald Allen

My dad passed away this morning. Suddenly. Out of no where. I might be a little quiet for a while.

Don't divorce my friends...

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Wally Byam is my hero

D has been working like a crazy person lately so we took the afternoon last Saturday and drove to San Antonio where my parents were attending a Vintage Airstream Rally. It's a cult, really, those Airstream people...and I hope to someday be one of them.

This is my parents Airstream, with my little silver car behind it and Dad's big silver truck in front of it.



We're actually planning to use the Airstream for dressing on the wedding day. Since the wedding will be held on a camp ground, the parents have agreed to park their for the night/day so we can store stuff there on Friday night and can finish getting dressed there on Saturday. Consider it a super mobile bride's room. I'm hoping to get some neat photo's featuring the Airstream on the day of.

My dad was very excited to show me his new toy: a dragon for the tow post thingy (technical term). A scary dragon at that. No one's going to mess with his Airstream. I guess I'll have to start calling him St. George.



Other than that wedding planning has kind of hit a lull at the moment. We've done most of what we can for the time being. The paper I want to use for the invitations is half price this week so I suspect a craft trip will come soon. Until then I'll keep making valentines with leftover fabric samples and buttons.

school is for losers

Now I remember why I graduated from college. I hate studying. Hate. With an all out passion. I don't care even a little bit about the three waves in modern social history and their implications for organizations. Or even the key variables for creating a customer-responsive culture. I suppose I should, since I'm taking this course to theoretically advance my career. But it's after 9 on a Sunday, I have a test tomorrow I cracked the book for the first time yesterday over a whiskey and coke. I don't care.

At least I had a good home cooked meal today. D and I had lunch and birthday dessert at the parents today. It's always so nice to watch her interact with my family. They like her and she likes them and it's a very good thing because we're all going to be stuck together for a long, long time.